Monday, November 9, 2009

MOVED

To wordpress

www.brainwashcommunity.wordpress.com

Yes, still brainwash community. ;D

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Reflection 4/10/09

Back from hospital.
I am fine now. no worries (:

Wow, was reading through my post WAYYY back. 4 years ago and such.

Wow.

I
was
really

-___________-

LOL.

Don't be surprise. THAT'S ALAINE 4 YEARS AGO.

Evolution of the mental age.

Amazing how much differences it made.

mm.

Maybe it will be gone for good. Let's see about it yeah.

take care. Goodbye everyone. (:

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I want it to end 20/9/09

Yes. I want it to end. Yet I dread the day is coming, fast.
"scream"

No I am not emoing, that's not the only time I start a blog post okayy. (:

Prelims has started last week, from monday to friday it was hell, hell and more hell.
Sleep on a average 3hrs a day has turned me into a panda. Seriously, the dark circles....
BAD genes from daddy.

Chem was difficult, Amaths paper 2 was difficult. Chinese for paper 1 I wrote crap. Geo and SS was writen till my hand literally died. And yadayadayada, the common exams talk, heh.

OLs coming. Do jiayou everyone but rmb not to get too stress out or nervous!
Study hard ;D

and this is not the normal post length, but i just couldn't think of what to write next. hmmmmmmmmm

in the meantime, do take care everyone! ;D

Sunday, August 30, 2009

WOW 30/8/09

Rather depressing post before this.
Hmm.

The random urge to start this blog post.

what should I type now... hmm...

Nothing really special happened, just the normal things that is happening to someone who is taking her ols this year.
Iwantthistoendendendendend
Iwanttobreakfreebreakfreebreakfree.

So things that happened :
-results back, some good some bad. "mental note to self"
-Played a very exciting game of badminton and in the event killing my knee altogether
-Thought about old friends and wonder about how they are doing after badminton
-FINALLY managed to get my hands on the etch a sketch but got a small one that is attach to a pen
-Went to ION and think it's another vivo city once again. kinda big, with MANY expensive things.
-Have a dillema of if I should go or not ... (to particular somewhere)
-wonder about life and the meaning behind it
-observe people in the mrt and notice alot of things
-went emo and confined myself to the world of music
-got a new nickname banana, B1
-Hair got tortured and tied into a bun in class, then walking around looking like a ahjuma
-Did a all back in class
-Decided that being emo won't solve the problem
-have a mental block and ended up wasted hours doing nothing
-stoned
-daydreamed

Yup that's about it.

2 more month. hang in there.
Iwanttobreakfree!

On a lighter note,
NO DOUBT is coming to singapore during F1 and I WON'T BE THERE! ...
amazing band, on my list of bands I want to see LIVE. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
Oh well... what to do.... =(

Shall end here...
BYE
take care everyone.
:)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Feels like crap

Hello dead bloggy.
heh

Yes, as the tittle suggest, I am currently feeling ...

And maybe that's the reason that urge me to start this blog post, or maybe it is just because this blog has been left dead for too long.

So life have been pretty hectic this few weeks.
Pre-perlim, test, hw, hw, hw, study, study. That's basicaly what I have been doing.

Ups and Downs
Going on, even more often in my brain.
Sometimes, just wished that I would stop thinking. Devoid myself of all emotions. Then again...

Decided to take a risk, decided to go for what I want, decided that others opinion should not be affecting the thing the I want to be/do in the future. I am going ahead with it.

wonders wonders wonders wonders wonders

On a lighter note,
I got a distinction for my chinese olevel oral and is super happy! cause everyone now cannot call me kangtan anymore!! LOL

And dpa. But there is a very disappointing part to it :(
&
to u know who, don't ever feel dejected because of this! It's not the end! We will work hard to what we said we want to each other and fulfill it! JIAYOU!

and,
I have lost myself to the world of music. Deprived myself to all joys of actually playing the instrument itself. Not touching my instruments for months. Just listening to 92.4fm makes me really happy.

Being crazy in class with all the friends makes me feel happy, at that point of time. No matter how tired I am. Somehow through the process, I lost myself.


Why has alaine turn into someone like this ?
Alaine, where are u ?

Questions, yet again never answered.

Why would u actually do something like this ?
Are u actually lying to me all this while ?
Has that common goal left u and remained in me ?
Was it actually my fault ?

Ask and it would be solved

No all the time though.
At least, alaine u tried.

Got to be independent, got to be strong, got to prove to them. that I will be able to do it.

Uncertaintly, unsure, no assurance.

I am glad all of my friends and family, mentors are there, supporting me.

Got to be strong, got to do it. Got to show them.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Understood 23/7/09

How I felt this and that way has partially due to past experiences. I am back. Alaine is back.

So on monday was HARRY POTTER movie day. At first we were disappointed due to the fact that we had to stay back even later for extra chem lesson and the bio students has to stay even later but we decided on a late movie. Well not that late but still quite okay. It was fun, yeah. :)  Loved the company, thanks everyone for making it possible yeah. haha.

So life been pretty much monotone with the vic pointing out daily schedules, it seriously seem horrible.

Lots of homework, pilling and pilling. It never ends does it? URGH.

Me having some brain conflict of some sort seem to like to dwell over some stuff more then ever. Worse still lack of sleep has turned me into a confused monster.

Sorry aijia for the confusion today. heh. Do feel bad about it! :(

DPA still haven’t called. Wonder. Good luck to gail for her interview tomorrow yeah. HOPE U GET IN !! :D

Wonder if I will be able to go kino with shuaige, or running with twin sister. Wonder wonder.

Everyone in class should get more sleep when they can. Everyone seem horribly tired. And for those that are sick, please do take care! GET WELL SOON RACH AND SKY ! :D

And I hate my brain conflict and yahoo answers do provide some very good advice.

Jiayou to everyone mugging. It’s hard but we will pull through it! AND DO WHATEVER WE SAY WE WILL DO AFTER THE OLS YEAH!

And I am drifting away from my other friends. Sorry! for not replying on msn or anywhere else! Will promise to catch up with you guys after my ols or my free time okays! 

Alright then I will then end here and get doing on my english. heh.

Begonebrainconflict.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Long Long Gone ! 14/7/09

Busybusybusybusy
Tiredtiredtiredtired.

It has been a really long time since I last updated but no, I am not abandoning this blog yet. haha.

Major things that happened :

Chinese olevel oral
Decided for which course to apply through DPA.
Decided which poly I wanted to go
And what I want to do in the future, and why not a jc.
hahaha.

So, choice for DPA, I won't say it here, If u want to know ask me personally.
Chinese olevel oral was kinda hard because the topic had so little to say!!

So moving on to my life. Which is currently filled with mudane studying but there is this little anticipation inside me, to be called to the interview for DPA. hopefully I will. And if all fails I will go in by the normal way, to the same course :)

Good luck to all who applied for DPA :D

School is pretty much normal, seems like it's gettting more fun now, hahaha. :D.
I think I am going to watch harry potter with friends soon and I promised I will bring quack along. hahaha. WOOT! =D

With me being able to mix more with the girls in my class due to the change of seating arrangement now, great, love the company, love them. Hope we will be able to stay as friends forever! hahahaha. Although I do called some of u names like "gail, MAL, Hweeeeee wen, weee leng" LOL !

And I am glad there is someone else in class aka "twin sister" going to the same course and feeling the same way. :D

And I am glad how I manage to find some people, who were not really good friends in the past, now. :). ya all know who you are yeah ? hahaha

And I am glad how I realise some people who aren't really there, there. And those there, weren't there. heh. And to let go, and to move on.

And I found a aim in my life. Somewhere I want to go. And I will reach it! Even though it's tough! But I will do it!

And I keep on saying And, hahaha!



And I shouldn't really care about what people think of me right? It's what I like that matters. It's me, not them. So why should I be care? But still, to a certain extend.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Inspired, changed, there's rage, I am coming!

Really really reallly long time since I last update
Thought of deleting this blog.

Maybe I will just leave it hanging...

So Chinese Olevel was over.
It was okay.

So now is the holiday, yet not like a holiday, cause the first 2 week and the last week I have to return to school. With all the crazy amount of homework.. arggggggggggggggg

Went to pula ubin, got a new pair of skates, watched this drama called boys over flowers, watched this korean reality show. Did this art thingy of a mother dog with it's puppy on a black background with gold layer under it. Read this AW-SOME book. Went MIA for a long long time from the existence of the internet.

Due to harsh scolding/complains/NAGGING from friends that I have not replied/communicate/distured/talk due to my mia. [LOL, shock the hell out of me when u all suddenly scold me] I will be online and there more often lah... haiyo. =.=

Hopefully I will continue to update this blog, heh.

Tag replies :

Daniel, what's with that weird quote ? However long the night, the dawn will break. LOL. anyways, I finally updated and read what u wrote there. And I totally agree on the part about issac -> if forget eat medicine later eat more. LOL.

Bovine, thanks moo :), reminds me that I have not talk to u for a long time! talk to u soon on msn bah. BOO!

Ah pek, WHAT 4-D. U 7-D.

Shuaige, LOL, STOP WITH THE HAIR LAH! aiyo!

Sean, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Chinese Chinese and Chinese 28/5/09

Of chinese and such.

So influence by chinese.
Whole week chinese.
Do till I died.

It had been chinese for a week, lesson time I am dying.
But will push myself.
To get better grades in chinese.

Of feelings and such.
Detached from my classmates because I am weak in chinese.
In the last class.
A new group of people.
Different dimensions.
Feel different.
Feels left out ?

PTC meeting was ...
Reason why I gave up my dream.

I have to study harder.
And for that I am giving up everything.
For good grades.
Giving up.
Worth it?
For my future,
giving up.
Worth it ?

Currently I am typing this way is because I am depressed.
Depressed from seeing chinese all day.
Depressed from reading the chinese passage over and over again just because I don't understand.
Depressed of trying to figure out how to write the word.
Depressed from seeing all the chinese characters.
Depressed from trying to get my chinese to a better mark.

But nevertheless, I can do it. And with a positive attitude I will get it over and done with. With the grades I want it to be.

Tell me why ?
Why do we have to give up things in order to be able to strive in another ?
Why do we have to drift away ?
From so many people whom I felt were important to me
Do they feel the same ? or it is that they just don't care?
Tell me why ?

Questions. Never Answered. Never Solved.

Is it worth it ?
Should I give up?
Or should I live the dream ?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Road to a happier life 24/5/09

And my house is currently infested with ants.

THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!

When I woke up today, I took my toothbrush and wonder why there are so many black black things on the table, but when I put on my glasses, THOSE WERE ANTS. I SCREAM, and mum came running with insect spray or something. LOL.

Then just now, I wanted to on my lappy only to find out MY LAPPY IS INFESTED WITH ANTS TOO. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGG. And no, I did not spray the insect spray onto my lappy of course. I pinch. LOL. Think I killed alot. LOL. Horrible, horrible.

Damn ants, now they are trying to climb onto my drum and the bad thing is that my drum is black and I can't spot the damn ants.

Bloodddyyyyy antsssssssssssss. "pinch" pinch" DIE!

....

On a Lighter note, My bed arrived on sat!!!
Then yesterday was at ikea getting my cupboards !!!1
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Happpyyyyyyyy.

And now that I will be going rollerblading with miss ke ai later on, well, teaching her.
weeeeeeeeeeee.

oh oh oh.

Last week, was this sports carnival at don't know where, that I had to wake at 5am just to reach yewtee at 6:15 to meet the rest. I was playing captain ball. Hmmm, shall not comment much, but just glad that Australia[our team, 4-9 and 4-10] got 2nd overall. Lost to a sec 3 team I think.

and then there was carrer day at RP. Kinda, not very informative. LOL. That day also had to wake up 5.

So you can guess that I was pretty much dead. Not adding to the fact that I can't sleep PASS 4am. At 4am I willl auto wake up and then I won't be able to fal back asleep.... Screwed body alarm. heh.

Next week would be that of intensive chinese.. . ... .......
Chinese olevel on 1st of june.
Next next week mon.
So SOON.
"WO GAN DAO FEI CHANG DAN YOU" :)

Road on to a happier life.
It's a choice.
And it's happening.
=D

Monday, May 18, 2009

Results 18/5/09

my bassie! -> Beautiful sounds.

Of bad and good.

Well, I think I have been bitten by the blogging bug. And Somehow the feeling to blog is back!
And yesterday was my last post and now I am posting again, something not quite common for quite a while here. haha.

Today was results.

I fail my chinese by 1 mark. ONE mark. !#@!%!$!%$!#%!#%$!#$!#$#@.@!#$!#$!#%#.
Considering the fact that I just want to clear my chinese paper [d7 and above] to grant me entry to a JC, should I want to, in the decision making at the end of this year. And yes, there is a back road, chinese B, but nah, I will work hard for chinese which is coming in 2 weeks. But a fail is still a fail. -_-. Sigh.... On a lighter note, my friends said that quite a number of people in band 1 fail chinese too. So hard work did make me improve ? To the fact that most people believe language cannot be improved.

Physics half class fail, so what do you think I got ?

Amaths. !@#!%!$!$!@#@.@4!%$!%!$!@%!#^%

So tomorrow there will be eng, chem[T.T], bio, ss, emaths.
Wonder how it will turn out,
Half dread it, half anticipate it.

Sky poured and rain today.
Cannot go rollerblading. :(
Hopefully tml it won't rain.


Well, Alaine's thinking again. Always thinking. And thinking and thinking.
Thinking about everything. No good, always become emo afterwards..

Wondering why her friends don't come online as often anymore.
Feels like she's drifting away. :(

Wondering why alot of my friends has to work overseas or what, making us unable to jam. T.T.
Anyone wanna jam ?

And yes, I do love refering myself in 3rd person mode. hehe =D

And yes, she's still looking for someone to rollerblade with her, she's bored rollerblading herself although she love how quiet it is and love the wind blowing when she's going fast.
Tag here bah, or leave me a offline msg on msn. =D.

Alrights then, BYEBYE! =D

And abi, I did manage to fake my temp. hahaha. ur reaction is priceless. LOL.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Sick 17/5/09

Of Feelings And Regrets.

Tomorrow will be the results.
Nervous ?... yeah. But will face it.

So, this few days was packed. Till recently I get to do some things that I really like, like playing around on the bass and drum and roller blading, trying to see how fast I could go. <- dangerous, but fun. I like. LOL

Thursday was, ... er... I think movie. Angels and demons was it? .. yah, I think Deb was very irritated with me, cause I keep talking to her and trying to predict the story. LOL.
The ppl who watch with us was : Zk, Darren, BK, vic, Junkang, Kailer, abi, aijia, debbie, karen.

Then friday, they came over to my house, watched DMC, played billard and cards and talk. The girls left first, then D, kl, and vic came up to my house. Kind of fun uh. hope u guys had a fun time :) The ppl who came was : Darren, vic, kailer, junkang, debbie, abi, jos, hx, Aijia.

Then sat was mizharshe bday bbq !
Met up with some ppl which I had not seen for quite some time.
Linda, Grace, Rina, Jon, Jason. :)
Was feeling damn tired, so wasn't kinda high. heh, sorry eh.
Went home afterwards in miss ke ai's car. Awesome driving, I puke on the grass after I alighted. LOL. power.

And tommorrow there will be temp taking, but I wanna be in school.
Having fever when H1N1 is on is not something good. urgh.

Pictures all on Facebook, join facebook ppl ! ... :D

and, it make me feel happy when ppl say that they actually do still read this blog.
Kinda, makes u feel that u are not forgotten.
then again..

Alrights will end here, think I will go off to sleep early. Hope that it goes away.

Anyone wanna go rollerblading with me ? :)

Why can't I just feel happy ?

p.s :

Some say he's afraid of ducks. Some say he knows 2 facts about ducks and both of them are wrong. Some say he could suck moisture out of ducks. Some say he has evolved a defense mechanism to protect himself from some breeds of duck. All WE KNOW IS HE'S CALLED THE STIG.